Do those students like me? If they tease me, does it mean they like me? They will, after all, be evaluating my job, my performance and I know they like everything even, everything fair. Their pecking order undisturbed.
Do I like them? Will someone be able to see me care for them? Like them? I am not sure of my caring and how much I care. Some days I care too much. They tell me, slow down, Miss, when I ask them to write down the date in their composition tablets. Is this asking too much? In the zone of conformity, I smooth out my voice, school my features. Crinkle my lips in a pleasing primate supplication sort of way. Am I getting through? Getting through with my head nodding, eye contact, tilt of my head? So many questions for them! They are so very interesting! Sans sarcasm, sans waste, sans everything.
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