Friday, January 27, 2012

Zone of Conformity

Do those students like me?  If they tease me, does it mean they like me?  They will, after all, be evaluating my job, my performance and I know they like everything even, everything fair.  Their pecking order undisturbed. 

Do I like them?  Will someone be able to see me care for them?  Like them?  I am not sure of my caring and how much I care.  Some days I care too much.  They tell me, slow down, Miss, when I ask them to write down the date in their composition tablets.  Is this asking too much?  In the zone of conformity, I smooth out my voice, school my features.  Crinkle my lips in a pleasing primate supplication sort of way.  Am I getting through?  Getting through with my head nodding, eye contact, tilt of my head?  So many questions for them!  They are so very interesting!  Sans sarcasm, sans waste, sans everything.

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