All Rainbow

All rainbow shimmer
clear-eyed and smiling
relaxed and laughing

find this now
clouds stars
all strange
magnets

that's what it was
a strong pull
and then
a ripping
away
quite

unnatural
to say the least
in such a short time
my love

Face

What is that face you made trying to find it
how did you look so sharp and creamy
I suppose that day was like any other

How did this go by so soon almost without
my noticing quite against my will unfolding
is that the lesson here is there one

Will there ever be words for it
or is the wash the closest image
all in the wash or washed away

A washout a painting of one
so with the masks it was easier
to be quite oneself almost comfortable

But what I see is so beautiful
so amazing and well how to go on
now or is this what was underneath

Here With Someone

The Buddhist guy up at Volcano told me a story
about his friend his love and how their relationship
continues even when someone has died I could barely
believe this but feel this instead to be true many times
over so that it was mundane everyday information
he was giving to me back then but such a gift thanks
really late now but changing my life now when

I think of my dream and what I have been thinking
slipped through my fingers is actually the beginning
of a beautiful relationship if I only see it as such what
else is there what else to do with all this even though
I know he is waiting at that table with two baguettes
and gesturing for me to sit down there not a problem
he will wait until I can join him I am slightly distracted
hesitant as I was not full on ready to join him sit down

then shown a burst of energy of many costume changes
a frantic pace so much theater maybe like a concert
a performance such as I never saw before yet familiar
could I quite know anything more then a standing
figure
back stage so to speak in a shadowy space resting up
tired out lets say exhausted and leaning against a wall
maybe this was a weird anger a strange frustration
being shown so I would please make my way there

Slip

Slip through my fingers one more time Love
what's gotten into the butter is that an insect
or just an eyelash lost like Me

How our looking led to this How it traces
old trails in the canyon how many tears
all that water so cold even in Summer

Left in you Isn't there some? Fight

Never You

It was never you
but now it is only

       the test never ends
        each requirement falling through
my fingers
hands and arms
        & they
could all say I am empty
but I am full (of you
full of fuel (your fire
            plus
the Glacial Lake Missoula flood
scouring each side of my heart

A Thousand

I've slept with you a thousand times
in my mind so multiply and divide
what is only the weather

4 a.m.

I see my reflection in the entryway doors.
Someone rushing around and busy. Only

barely appearing that way. To themselves.
That would be me. Do I love you less

at this early hour. I can only think of your eyes
and how they looked orange all of a sudden.
I thought this was when I really saw
what you looked like. Finally.

Tell Me Why Black Butte

That is what I wrote when I wrote it
inside the territory without a passport
I showed up to meet them shake hands
but they wanted more and I needed less

My head did not spin as much
on down from the pass

 where my Bebe rocked me where it
should have been longer
to reach what is now

Little Evil Window

There was that window again
closed but acting open.
I tried to feel something
all round its edges
but could not discover the origin
of the evil opening
hiding in plain sight.
This was the time I acted afraid
normally I laugh off the cold
just about this time of year.

About Time

Trees grass leaves all frosty at 6 a.m.
what can I expect but another round
with you in my half-dream--

Until the let-go the eye-opening



      light


making it all disappear again
the glances I remember and the orange glow--

I can bring it all back but never the same
each time

You Have

A pink glow
from the screen. I see you have them
watching over your shoulders.
They are your wings they are your angels.

How can I enter this dream again?
It was okay with the little owl
and the building wanting marriage.
I accepted even though

I wanted a longer waiting period
to get acquainted
you know.

He Said

Not to love him not
to show it not at all don't please
don't love me my life and me
in it so painful I know I thought
you took those words
right out of my mouth

Old Roses

He always sounded broke
underlined those words
on yellow legal paper
back then everything shined
not like now all sunsets
breathing machine
worn-out chairs back steps
out to the long driveway
lined with old rose bushes

The Apples

Our love. Vinegar. Leaves.
So sweet everything
a small disintegrating mess. Nothing
apparent the next day
ghost of it this
thing ruining the grass.
Not really seen
as necessary.
Except by me. Of course
so much extra. So
there are leftovers.
So what.

The Figs

I split open
the sun

sucking away
at their milk

enough to where
I then think of you

KO

Okay so what if I don't love you
but only say it to hear what it sounds like
out loud and silent to the trees their branches
all still no wait a slight wind stirring
rainbow shadows no color in sight
it's warmth on indefinite simmer

Sesh

What can I do
        except kiss your picture
make-out with your luscious lips
        against mine
your hands

Moon In The Way

Moon your face
washing out bits
of far off sky
dropping down down
to the table the tableau
let's make it fancy

ready for your decorations
did I say I love you
or only write it down
somewhere we both
would find

The Dream Where

Not just a promise
but the real thing
the dream in my head

The sky loves the river
I see why
this is crucial

The snow your face
beside it cooling everything
way down

Strategic Bridge

Main square Moors
joined by private
hiring very well spent
reminds us very important
at an angle kill the dogs
tiny theater soulful
here it's the men
sad unanswered

Possible Slow

Slow time turns around
over the shoulder of the moon
sees between trees between branches
How could you not notice words
their birds all nesting at least
waiting like me for you
like the words you do not say
no matter how hard I listen
I only hear breathing and love
all what I am not supposed to

Slow Time

With your feelings
With all directions
all ways

look under the sun

for these lives     we tell
each turn    too late
in these early days
of love

and love's moving parts
in our eyes will we look
where love heats
our cooling

hearts in each thought
do you hear it
my heavy feather
across your lips your eyelashes

Dream Of Long Ago

Bees told me how
instead of the other way round
not quite the end but somewhat
cornered here looking at dust
time and its friends luck work sleep

I knit together caterpillar hues
dark grey with citrine
it was always citrine
afterall

Rollback The Time

A giant sheet
then going

You stand there
I belong here

Definite. Usual.
Do I need

this slips away
just when

rake me up
into your heart

the time is now
deciding

How Was How Is

How        life
is        going
so        much        so clear.         photos
look.        and look.         for the person
        so late      so angry     for not

looking

for you

sooner

but what was it then
who was he

scowling       happy
son
brother
lover
friend

teacher
master
mister
missing

How Did

It happened before almost the same
as this:

sky cool air animals invisible
life going along
then out of the blue
it seemed
love

so what now loneliness
or celebration a little of both
a lot of both
the train insists
as it always does
through town
all engines slowing

Living The Dream

Wake up now and then
take pulse wash dishes
and mouth so many words
wasted or not for what

You in fields of onions
your young brown curls
how they ran their fingers
through your life all dreams

I was not there then but now
the day drains down the loss
I mean the loess think of me
under Sterneschnupfen
under your length

More Turquoise

I read the book on what you're
supposed to say and when or not
to say it instead listen but that is not
at all in this picture

Only a strong evening breeze
bustling all throughout Eugene
light in certain places or is
the WOW Hall made of cream

A guy in his bathrobe
holds up a raven feather he found
on the sidewalk yet another
for his collection of hundreds

tells me they molt in different places
so they are still able to fly
says he winds string around these
reds yellows I like the turquoise
and your kiss with your tongue

I Think Of Him

Shut my eyes real hard
There he is
In disguise
All shiny


Then when I remember
A feeling comes over me
It is the exact same feeling

Across My Life

There were certain places people things
left behind it was never me I was the one
going away turning my back never facing
them again goodbye was my word ready
to jump out of my heart except when I
look and look here jump the gun
in terms of wanting to avoid any pain
now I seek his looks his touch
this is all I want this is my kiss

Still Nonpareil

Still there are no questions
to these answers
to the time
before this
time

Mark the now
whatever that is

all said and done
again
with

Mark My Words

Tried to erase them grind off
small tails of happiness
plus the stubble my only reminder
of night then almost daylight

How

Could

We

Go

rub what's left
from the jar
containing all the suns
their lucky stars

His Ears

I touched his ears
met his eyes

looked into
dancing

two strong arms
wrapped around

my strong lover

stay here in the dim
walk with me

in the sun
the burning rays

Into His Eyes

I looked into his eyes
saw the shadows underneath
but only later
after
the usual

pleasantries

rocks waves out
past the shore break

to me to me to me

if not for the sand
its dunes and grasses

Happy Accidents

I don't know of any. Mostly they are not that
but this and the other. How to divide into myself.
The other stage. Its bleed into the daylight.
How to escape the frame. All up and running.
Way ahead. The other. Of the other. Myself included.
How to with finesse. I would bite off his head
if I only could. Bite and be bitten.

Back Then

Back then was training and more
I asked about it connected
actually waking up to now

how could I miss it miss this
run toward compliance
in my wildest dreams
it was a warning
anyway

Look here--

daytime heat moon headache
what else on the list
what to skip

We Went

We went to Siberia to Mongolia
in our chairs by the fountain
at 5th Street Market where she said
she got lost in Provisions

first it was Marche but I changed
my mind
into what is real
clematis
vines doing so well
with a little splashing
in the brick shade
their open blossoms
all ears all music

All Told

When ll
all
a
L
is said and done


How could it have been any other way?

I wore the chillit like I was instructed

I looked

like a scout of some sort

finding the dust and other
unwanted particles.    Still

Even So

The day is the night
and someone else looking towards
a nice past. The other way indeed
what took a lot was not that strict
but I followed the rules anyway.

Once I Was In Alaska

And could not find my feet
everywhere I looked
blueberries the mud puddles
so wide and the creatures
springing from those
bit me many times
until I lost count
counting the days
until night

Free Desert

Imagine that a good place
four people last time too
being wishful thinking
dogs kids three dollar pizza
so that is sixty something off
you should come over this weekend
the old time buffet commercial in N.Y.
on the television all the control corruption

It has to happen really smart imploded
within and die the money showing up

The Feeling

I felt it creep along the two-by-four
and what else could I imagine but somehow
the feeling took over not a thought
not at all. I told myself I would not imagine
a better feeling in all this. It waited for me
to catch up. I looked for trouble
but found none. Found nothing
I could think of. So what could we find
besides the other bunch.
I wonder about everything
that didn't actually happen
but somehow did.

The Books

Hid themselves out in the open
scratchy notes inside their smooth doors
What is possible when all else isn't
I thought there was a filter
instead all these strong grounds
take me places especially back here
The wind the breezy life blowing by
all the words their pleas and cries
More and more I think
the library should be intact
kept all together each item company
for all the others

Kind Of Worried

Anything to do with my life
to do with a living
anything to do with tech
the ships only a young kid
on the bus a refreshment
a glass of water

Meet up right
Not working

What did you do with him
took the day off music
drums necklaces probably for
a gameboy exciting probably

The Rest Of It

I got in line for the rest of it
not the first picks
I belonged to the night now
and no other

spirit take me to Calgon
and all the cupcakes
found there

When I was a custodian
I looked and looked

the dust found me
my lungs sneezed
inside the best life
it was this and that

Plan to be there
lights out saving it
all the goodbyes
until now each last one
don't matter or do they

Forgotten Tribe

They forgot me
in time I was left for dead

one o'clock
it was a type of flower
what sailed here
under my arm

Noon left me in shadows
I did not protest
but planning became routine

A Flat

What was sooner what was later
if you catch a fish that will be sooner
faster river and soon the kayak

It goes around and that is so
if you want to go fishing
empty and so on worms

When I Was A Custodian

The night was too short
in a moon minute everything went on
beneath the fluorescent ceiling
one panel always out in 102

Where was the dark night of the soul
I looked and looked finding that reflection
the wavy glass contained a stranger and when
I looked past her and on into the trees
a small forest with Shasta daisies

About those eyes almost closed
dust around each corner

There was an answer to my life somewhere
under the carpeted stairs between pages
of the math lounge and library
there in the obscure formulas
with such dreamy names

Convo

When you talk I listen
although I am thinking only
about what else to say what else
is the same thing here and there
when the time is up and there are
pauses what it will be like does that
mean go now run or walk my back
saying nothing but what is up ahead

What you said is so interesting
not really why would you tell me
about your high school I did not ask
what else will I relate what can I say
you liked me already what's it something
I said was it already set in time in place

Usually

Well now the part about night
during the daytime:
pieces bits and meals
between the dates
each day folds into the next
a quarrel could you find one?

Every day is Sunday here
pulling grass
slowly
it will
last.

View

Try eating local bee pollen
it help it is medicine
I eat honey in my cereal
every morning a kick
in the pants we grow more
grass seed than any place
on the planet good pollen
in that other kind Washington
the younger generation
the base on the new trees
force feeding them potatoes
for the shaved potatoes just
that size amazing foamy odd

All About The Mystery

The mystery of Wednesday.
The mystery of ten forty-five.
What else could happen after this moment.
It will be exciting. Waiting. Falling asleep.
Lunch and breaks. How are you today.
Good. You took your harassment test.
When I got hired. Making us guess.
A ton of reading. Several websites.

It might be one of their questions.
About an hour depending on how fast
you can read it you get it wrong you
end up with the right answer no matter what.

Rain, In The

Morning soft sprinkles by the dumpster
two bags easy lifting the grimy lid
no moon as of late so early I could cry
into the tall pines their needles
stick to everything and nothing

What I Thought Vs. What I Said

Tug antagonist tugging
at my heart so unsatisfactory
this speaking when I would rather
listen to everything you're thinking

It isn't always everything to do with me
but it is a lot of nothing in my mind now
time ticking away and all plus the night

So Now It Is Plum

I was thinking eggplant
but isn't that something indeed
or at least a bit too intimate
to be thinking about when knitting
knots and string and loosening
and checking for tautness
what slips easily in and out
with the needles clicking along
small machines in my hands
plus lanolin and all it entails

My Idea

It was my idea to give it away
or else why would I tell them
all about the past my place in it
the whorls and knots I tried
to knit together

Now the feeling splits
between this
and that
and the other

Call me from far away
I will answer your voice
I know so well

Happens

The clouds are nice
I miss Mars too not the same
Cold even in the Sun
Earth never looking more beautiful

Heaven is a place
Where nothing
Ever

Rain In The Forest

I smell the rain
in the forest
rain inside
everything else
my heart knows
hail

morning fog
burning off
just when
I think
it won't

Keith Sutherland Resting

Mister motorcycle man
with beautiful girlfriend
out to visit us
Whipping into
the driveway careful
of the cat
of the turkeys
my mind
bending
light
over the Umpqa
those days ago
how they blistered
why is a minute
so long now
where did it

pass
beyond the brink
the tiny shore

Toward The Moon

Branches leaves grass did I forget you
when I lived by the sea

floes their olden gold
arrangements

I picked up one song
then another

Maybe it was here that I ran into them
polished and picked over

I wish I knew you were waiting
and not just saying goodbye

Weather

It would figure the weather flux
my mind and heart
same too inside the rest

how terrible it seemed
before

and now I see the relief
on his face his body

what I see

Maybe I Said

Too much in the green field
and his the grey cloud

Looking back it is robots
speaking of emotion
but with little

at the time so overwhelming
and now the words are crisp
their shelf life meaningless

grab my hand and caress it
with your fine thumbs

read the life of my body
each chapter open to you
every page dog-eared
listening to a sugary silence

it sifts between us
spilling into our smiles
what is happiness

Big Day Dawn

Well I fulfilled my green promise
but today is yet another craving
my sweet tooth will find

I tried an apple
very sweet
and now I regret
those arguments
over nothing

Come back
come back to me
I will return too
despite all
the misgivings

The Interesting Title

There was more:

she thought about the song and how she would sing
it would be as an achiever

then the thing about cake vs. pie

how would she bake all alone?

was not necessary anyway you slice it

Who knew of her thoughts
their round shapes

plus her feelings there
she said it

Before The Finish

Whatever happens will be smart
smarter than my own mind
so they said to cut it out don't
find fault become

sliding into waiting
what could be better
okay for now the slide
will tell of anything else
flames their crackling
together the deal the night

What gets circled what
gets crossed off in two weeks
another spot to remember
look out you are right

Time To Go

Will this stay
this feeling of you
inside my heart
I don't want to say beating
more like breathing
of course this has potential
because more follows
all the way past the ice
and into April

Left Me

Left me wondering about other seasons
such as sea and air squeezing into blue
the problem became real and shiny

Please I said please so wonder with me
catch the long breezes and belong to me

I Left Winter

dreaming of snow
olden days down spine
alive to nerves

I would guess
everything different
chances are

snow ripens
at night the moon
catching any

love calling so loud
my eyes so useless
freezing melting

What You Said On The Landline

Your lips moving but I could only hear catches
my brain breathing free your eyes clear
what happened before we met was it all a waste
of time like you said I cannot believe such foolishness
I think I was strung out too on the volcano the hot spot
never too far away and you within arm's reach if I do

Still Too

If you have been busy this whole weekend
blame it on the water not calling
same size all sitting in concrete
taking away electricity draining scary part
this is what pops off something else
going on I'll show you the copper pipe
next time still a leak won't stop crazy
just to install down to a mechanic
that will do it winter is taking its time

Saw Again

Saw him again this time a little grey
not as charcoal and much bigger
still he bit my hand again no manners
that's how I knew everything was the same
again and this is good because now
it is all out in the clear and open
even though I am still in the dark
still somehow looking inside asking
about time I think about time

Quitting

So what could be more difficult
than always wanting you
clover lavender all the same
bed we will some day sleep
there some day see you there

Inside my brain I command the nothing
the terrible something eating well
until full and then some

Did it leave then when free
no not at all but ran
galloping toward our hands

You Saw Him

I hope not cold enough
without running around
really disappointed right here
did you ask him what you did
wrong you guys and such a sad
face all the time actually four
blocks away the bridge the wind
all clean again from the other side

What Did King

What did I do to deserve you
King of all the Super Sundays
marvelous Monday what time
four a.m. cancelled in the courtyard
when it snows in Eugene people

this is Super Sunday ninety percent
any of it three points in the first half
the scores the Rams and their passers
the spread what it was well catching the ball
by examples of percent around and around
and around alive sleepy just tired generally

Wild Friend

Wild friend under the bridge
take these granola bars
for your life we cannot share
time makes time for you
but these moments stand
beneath the freeway millions of cars
passing over the cave over our heads

When I Did

There wasn't much
Just enough inside the time
Could this be another trick
Of my mind or else true
Winter does not tell secrets
Insides of trees places imagined
Listening to me and my dreams
What I want and so distracting

This Post

This post became one of many
It was the only time I looked past the past
She sang a song of love one that I recognized
I fell more and more into it more inside
It was another part of the past and did I think
To say anything nice I hope so hope as much

Going Back To Where You Were

Notice any changes Florence only three thousand
Opposite story less gas and groceries all the wood
What do you call it products when we were young kids
When the mills went out if it wasn't for the pot
People getting ripped off shot pot kept it way of life
None my youngest at the legal screw the price
In a state that thinks it will get rich off it

Everything Comes Down To It

The way we become the best quality
mindless position liked them taken away
questions fair and not the other thing will
be the best the other things anyway so that's it
inside the fact that we are the thing between
save some for next week will be need this
so what are we respected working together
we don't have to wait even shorter

What I Said

When I said okay I really meant
no thanks to the idea what of you said
how we are supposed to keep it
me anyway nothing about you in that
guessing this means what the hell
tell me otherwise or do I keep it

dripping with honey all round
my body my thoughts melting
into the somewhere no guessing
spot you've known all along

I Suppose

Almost assume you smile
everything is not unlocked open
if I could only find the entrance
your kingdom where we will dine
on everything because that is how it is
there's where we look
as long as we want where we
love looking eyes drinking locking

What I Knew

At first it was nothing
then more of the same
what I knew disappeared
so I looked into spiderwebs
their spinners also nothing
what was it I could observe
moon changing heart beating
empty corridors echoing carpet
all blue and mixed blue

There you are in the mornings now
all the advice is conflicting
lots of space and then do not act cool
these seem opposite like what attracts
you and me what is our intersection
our dream somewhere else not night
not day but other place of air trees rivers

Mystery Of One

Did not know
But could feel
What I knew before
What else climbed out
Cages did not work
And forget chains locks
their heavy togetherness
Magnets in love
Shaking it all up
At the sight of the keys

Mysterious Welcome

I lied about not knowing
Who you were
The first time we met
Not really meeting
But they say everything is about--

And that this is about power
I wasn't going to agree
Now I think I do

If I could say one thing
It would be happiness
Spells it out for me
If this could be relaxed
Sunshine and apples
Just like that

What I think about
Mostly is nothing much
Playing Bayern 1 radio
During those hours
Missing you and welcoming
Any thoughts

Trouble At The Gate

Yes the tree opened I mean
My tree swung open
After about ten minutes
Standing there empty mind
Left side was easier
No surprise there
At first I remembered everything
About you and then left side
I began to examine our branching
How it made me into this shape

Living The Dream Of Clean

down the corridors and alcoves
dead bugs lots of hair
more than a few beverage containers
I watched him wipe the doors
I watched the glass how it moved
in the light non-light back and forth
a wave into the stillness why wait

The Key Ring Of Mystery

The gate is not a fan of the key
more like the sword is the fan
of the sky and sky sense
breathes on my neck you are absent
from the night and its interior drama
the spiders their webs plus dead wasps
so conspicuous drying out their lives
on the third floor of Deady the area
wiped clean of last year or is it
will it ever be all the way clear
just what is happening just what
has gone down this life my dreams

Noise In The World

Why was all that noise in the world
in the keys thinking about the lock
round and round the bind I guess bond
so protected so secure behind every door
nothing very different only more stability

What happened if it is opened and unlocked
everything flying loose and unpredictable
for so long salt water and waves hearing them
all night and now not whales but the train
starting and stopping through town

This guessing is so quiet like a mouse
trapped inside the building with no way out
could it be that you are ready were all along
only why did you keep this to yourself
was it the dream of ferns and grasses

Under the moon I will think it passes for love
what I know now is that we were meant to listen
hear its clicks and turnings take what is given
so freely just in time right there all along
jumbling the air into folds and twists

Mystery Of The Quiet Keys

The keys were too quiet
and all was not lost
even though I panicked shall we say
more than just a little bit
during my dream of the night
daytime a distant memory
always someday you'll hold my hands
I will become the long kiss
meaning that these words
were never needed only our hearts
thanks to you

Ten

I will never forget ten o'clock
hap new year signs signals
done all done so know this

new year news now take me
to the future new year now sing
me with your strong arms
your beautiful mouth

I'll never get back
those hours of my life
rock'n eve or not