All Rainbow

All rainbow shimmer
clear-eyed and smiling
relaxed and laughing

find this now
clouds stars
all strange
magnets

that's what it was
a strong pull
and then
a ripping
away
quite

unnatural
to say the least
in such a short time
my love

Face

What is that face you made trying to find it
how did you look so sharp and creamy
I suppose that day was like any other

How did this go by so soon almost without
my noticing quite against my will unfolding
is that the lesson here is there one

Will there ever be words for it
or is the wash the closest image
all in the wash or washed away

A washout a painting of one
so with the masks it was easier
to be quite oneself almost comfortable

But what I see is so beautiful
so amazing and well how to go on
now or is this what was underneath

Here With Someone

The Buddhist guy up at Volcano told me a story
about his friend his love and how their relationship
continues even when someone has died I could barely
believe this but feel this instead to be true many times
over so that it was mundane everyday information
he was giving to me back then but such a gift thanks
really late now but changing my life now when

I think of my dream and what I have been thinking
slipped through my fingers is actually the beginning
of a beautiful relationship if I only see it as such what
else is there what else to do with all this even though
I know he is waiting at that table with two baguettes
and gesturing for me to sit down there not a problem
he will wait until I can join him I am slightly distracted
hesitant as I was not full on ready to join him sit down

then shown a burst of energy of many costume changes
a frantic pace so much theater maybe like a concert
a performance such as I never saw before yet familiar
could I quite know anything more then a standing
figure
back stage so to speak in a shadowy space resting up
tired out lets say exhausted and leaning against a wall
maybe this was a weird anger a strange frustration
being shown so I would please make my way there

Slip

Slip through my fingers one more time Love
what's gotten into the butter is that an insect
or just an eyelash lost like Me

How our looking led to this How it traces
old trails in the canyon how many tears
all that water so cold even in Summer

Left in you Isn't there some? Fight

Never You

It was never you
but now it is only

       the test never ends
        each requirement falling through
my fingers
hands and arms
        & they
could all say I am empty
but I am full (of you
full of fuel (your fire
            plus
the Glacial Lake Missoula flood
scouring each side of my heart

A Thousand

I've slept with you a thousand times
in my mind so multiply and divide
what is only the weather

4 a.m.

I see my reflection in the entryway doors.
Someone rushing around and busy. Only

barely appearing that way. To themselves.
That would be me. Do I love you less

at this early hour. I can only think of your eyes
and how they looked orange all of a sudden.
I thought this was when I really saw
what you looked like. Finally.

Tell Me Why Black Butte

That is what I wrote when I wrote it
inside the territory without a passport
I showed up to meet them shake hands
but they wanted more and I needed less

My head did not spin as much
on down from the pass

 where my Bebe rocked me where it
should have been longer
to reach what is now

Little Evil Window

There was that window again
closed but acting open.
I tried to feel something
all round its edges
but could not discover the origin
of the evil opening
hiding in plain sight.
This was the time I acted afraid
normally I laugh off the cold
just about this time of year.

About Time

Trees grass leaves all frosty at 6 a.m.
what can I expect but another round
with you in my half-dream--

Until the let-go the eye-opening



      light


making it all disappear again
the glances I remember and the orange glow--

I can bring it all back but never the same
each time